Raya Songs

Year in year out, the same old Raya Songs. Balik Kampung la.. what else? Yoh, all the regulars la! Boring!

This year why not the local artists do some cover version of international songs with some Raya mood? Here are a few I can think of:

1) Ampun Is The Hardest Word: oa Elton John
2) Sirap In A Bottle: oa Christina Aguilera
3) Always Raya: oa Bon Jovi
4) Raya Don’t Cry: oa Fergie
5) I Just Call To Say Slamat Hari Raya: oa Stevie Wonder
6) Lemang Tree: oa Fool’s Farden
7) Hot and Cold Cincau: oa Katy Perry
8) Kurma California: oa The Eagles
9) Every Morning Syawal: oa Sugar Ray
10) Salam 25 Minutes: oa MLTR

oa=original artist

With songs like this, Raya will rawks!

Yusof Tileessss...

If you happens to listen to radio, especially English channel, there is this annoying ads with background of lounge music and a deep male voice naming different type of supreme quality dates and then a women voice whispering ‘Yusof Tiles’ at an interval of every 2 seconds. WTF on earth is a tiles company selling dates for Ramadhan??

The answer is, the ads is from Yusof Tayoob, a well known food importer, exporter and distributor (nick’d from Yuta’s website). So the woman’s voice is actually whispering Yusof Tayoob instead of Yusof Tiles.. But let me listen again. Is it Tiles of Tayoob… Aiyoh, whisper properly la…

Aiyah, I no sinkalan you one la...

Miracles

Remember this news?

I think we will know what happened next year when the suicide note miraculously appear to save the day.

Miracles do happens when there is no answer.

How crappy..

Adios!

My Strepsils

Is Strepsils a sweet?
When you see your fren got a pack of Strepsils, will you ask for one?

Yesterday I was having a bad sore throat. So I went to a shop nearby and got myself a pack of Strepsils. Then a colleague saw and say, ‘Eh, got sweets. Can I have 1?’

I was a bit reluctant to spare because I need all the 6 of them for my sore throat. But not to offend him, I just pass him 1.

Strepsils is not a sweet ok! It’s a sore throat medicine. And it cost a freaking 50 sen each.

Do you ask for a Panadol from your friend when you see him eating one?

D’uh!

In the 80s..

In the 80s, there is something stupid called TV license. If you have a TV, you have to pay the annual license fees. I remember last time when we heard some strangers knocking on our neighbors doors, we will go and see if they are from the government checking on the TV license. Normally they are 2-3 malays going from door to door at our flats. If this happens, my mum will panic and close the door as if no one is at home. I think once she even hide our small tv in the cupboard. But mostly, it’s false alarm. Come on, who so stupid go and pay for such license?

There were also conman who came by saying they are from the government, need to do fogging at RMxx per house. Or checking on the gas tube for safety and compliance with government regulatory. Or selling pots at unbelievable cheap price but then with string attached. Last time where got internet to check all this. Some aunties will fall into the traps of this conjobs. My mum also kena conned into buying a set of useless pots!

Besides checking on TV license, we are often raided by sales people. There are people selling all sort of stuff from house to house that time. Got a man sell detergent, one lady sell bras, one old man come and sharpen all your knives and scissors, people asking for donations, one man selling butter buns, a lady come and collect old clothes and 1 guy even sells Loufuji! My favorite is the Indian rotiman. He will park his motor and put the bread on a big cardboard box and walk around the flat, yelling ‘Roti…’, ‘Roti….’ Sometimes, we will go to his motor and curi some Mamee..

Those were the days when I was a kid, where there is not much to think about and live a carefree happy life with other kids at the flats…

Gulagulaku

Sejak zaman purba lagi, gula-gula kesukaanku adalah Hudson's perisa buah pala. Gula-gula ini sedap sehingga tak terkata. Rasanya manis dan wangi seumpama buah pala jeruk yang dibeli dari Pulau Pinang. Dulu, gula-gula ini dapat dibeli 10 sen untuk 3 biji. Alangkah murah barangan masa itu. Fikir kembali pun gembira sakan.

Seperti biasa, lama-kelamaan barangan murah dan berlambak mudah dilupakan. Kehadiran gula-gula lain di pasaran telah mengubah hidupku ke haluan yang berbeza. Aku mula memberanikan diri mengeksplorasi gula-gula yang lain. Tahun demi tahun, Hudson's perisa buah pala semakin dilupakan.

Tetapi, apabila aku sedari yang rasa buah pala itu telah lama tidak dirasai, aku mula mencari gula-gula itu yang dulu menjadi sebahagian dari hidupku. Tatapi malang tidak berbau, gula-gula itu telah lenyap di pasaran. Gerai Muniandy yang aku selalu beli gula-gula telah dirobohkan. Pasaraya besar seperti Gergasi, 4Kereta dan Teksko pun tidak menjual gula-gula itu lagi. Kesengsaraanku tidak dapat dieksplain dengan kata..

Pada suatu hari, aku menceritakan kekesalan hidupku kepada salah seorang rakan sekerja. Rakan sekerjaku ini adalah penaja gula-gula dalam opisku. Tempat duduk dia berlambak dengan gula-gula. Setiap kali aku jalan lepas dia punya tempat, aku akan petik sebiji gula-gula (kadang-kala 2 biji bergantung kepada moodku masa tu)..

Beberapa hari kemudian, rakan sekerjaku ini datang ke tempat dudukku. Dan dia menghulurkan segenggam gula-gula Hudson's perisa buah pala kepadaku. Alangkah gembiranya aku apabila dapat merasai gula-gula itu sekali lagi. Perasaanku masa itu adalah macam jumpa duit dalam kocek seluar jeans aku yang belum dibasuh pada hujung bulan...

Menurut rakan sekerjaku, dia tanya penjual gula-gula dia itu dan hakikatnya adalah, Hudson's tidak lagi memanufaktur gula gula perisa buah pala lagi. Tetapi, dia masih ada simpat sikit stok lama. Ini bermakna gula-gula perisa buah pala itu adalah yang terakhir di dunia yang zalim ini.

Kini, aku akan lebih mengtreasure gula-gula ini dan akan menghayati detik detik terakhir ini sebab aku faham, gula-gula ini tidak akan hadir di hidupku selapas ini buat selama-lamanya..

Selamat tinggal Hudson's perisa buah pala. Kehadiranmu akan sentiasa di hatiku..

*open a pack of Fisherman's Friend while the rest of the Nutmeg sweets lies idle at the corner of my desk*

LOL!!

How crappy..

Adios!

Priority Fails

Sometimes, our local news is really funny.

Read this: Actress happy to be home but hopes family will accept Indonesian spouse

In a nutshell, this teenage girl returned from Indonesia and her husband is still in Indonesia (whatever reasons, tak tau). She is 15 yrs old, 6th months pregnant.

Her father says, 'I am upset because she did not even finish her PMR examination. I want her to complete her SPM examination..'

Hello? We have a bigger problem here ok! What PMR exam? Uncle, your daughter had been raped and is under-aged! And she eloped with an Indonesian. And the reason he can't come to Malaysia could be he is a criminal or previously a illegal immigrant?

Where is the law?

How crappy..

Adios!