Monday, April 7, 2014

Why the smell...?

Normally my house got water. After the water-rationing things going on, my house still got water.

I even wash my car, water the plant and do my laundry without any remorse although my friends keep complaining on how inconvenience it is without water.

Then that day. That day someone forward me a new schedule. The next water rationing time table.

After browsing it, I found my house area in the list. Ya, listed, but not necessary will kena one la. That's what my defunct mind says.

So, that particular Sunday morning. I woke up, hoping it's a false alarm. Turn on the tap. Voila! water is flowing like waterfall.. Haha, escaped again!

Bath can wait, play a game or two of Castlevania first!

After 2 hours of dracula fighting, I drag my ass to the bathroom and turn on the tap.

It's dry. IT'S DRY!!!

So, what do you say to bath when there is no water?

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

CNY Resolution

Dang! This year I missed the New Year Resolution.. But luckily I am a Chinese, there is another new year to celebrate not long after the angmoh new year.

Ok ok.. let's not waste anymore time, my 2014 CNY Resolutions ARE (please note it's a plural)...

1)  More books! Well, currently I am reading about 10 books a month.. I want to make it 50 books this year. (Replace 'month' with 'year' and divide all numbers by 10). Books include magazine but to show my sincerity, EXCLUDE newspapers.

2) Less coffee! Currently it's a cup a day. New target is.... a cup every 30 hours. It's 6 hours delay ok.. 1 day delay 6 hours, 10 days delay 60 hours, 1 year delay.. oh wow! 2000 hours. Based on my maths, it's 34.7 cups less in a year.

3) More charity! Shit looking back, I almost did nothing for charity all these while. Maybe it's time to start donating. Donating what remains a mystery up to the point of this posting.

4) Less meat! Ok, to start this off, I will cut down on wagyu beef.

5) More exercise! Currently, my frequency to the gym is once per week which I think is rubbish as in might as well don't go. Ok, now onwards, will go more than once per week! (Actually this resolution is not to be fitter, but to make my monthly payment more worthy...)

6) No Resolutions! Wait, what??

Saturday, July 27, 2013


Like this..

I needed to do a minor house renovation. So I asked this contractor to come and agak agak give me a price. He came and measure measure then says will sms me a quotation.

2 days later, he sms-ed me, quoting RM745.

Being a stingy financially sensitive person, I replied, asking for some discount. I thought the rule of thumb is suggest a huge discount, then renegotiate to a good price. I asked if can settle at RM500.

He replied, 'Sorry, cannot'.

That's it. 2 words.

So, being polite, I replied, asking can give me a best price?

He replied, 'RM740'.

Makehai.. I need RM5 discount from you ah? Dowan to do dun do lah. No need like that one...


Monday, July 22, 2013

Minions oh minions..

After seeing all the stupid news where people fight in McD, long queues, destroy the shuttle gate and whatsnot... All I wanna say is...


Saturday, July 13, 2013

Adventure Time

Story is like this..

That day I need to go to 1Shamelin after work. You know where onot itu 1Shamelin. I dunno la.. So I depends on my phone GPS.

But that fateful day, I had a meeting to attend and didn't managed to charge my phone. When I was about to leave the office, my phone is showing a pathetic 30% life. I assured myself, 30% is enough lah. 

When I get into my car, only I remembered my car is low on fuel. That annoying yellow light already showing. I assured myself again, on the way sure got petrol station one. Petrol station so common kan..? 

So off I go to my adventure!

Aih.. man count, better sky count.. that day dunno why so damn jam. After driving for 30 minutes, I see the fuel level almost hit rock bottom, yet no petrol station sighted. Suddenly, a beep from my phone shouting 15% life remaining.
Keep calm. Based on my calculations of speed = velocity x wind direction, I can make it with just 15% battery life. But dunno why, after driving another 10 minutes, that bloody phone beeped again! 5%!!

As a navigator, I quickly do the next wise thing. Scroll the map to see how far I am and which junctions to turn. Haha! I am only 2 junctions away!! Yahoo!! and just before I reach the final junction, my phone slipped into coma. 

Remember my fuel problem..? I don't.

So, after finished my business in 1Shamelin, time to go home. 
Whoopss.. how to go home..? Where am I? I see only houses around me. No road signs. No phone. No fuel.

I started to follow the cars but ended up in a housing area. Die!
U-turn back and keeping an attentive eye to the fuel meter..

Suddenly, I found it! Petron!! I know la what everyone is saying boycott Petron because it's a crony etc but I am left with no choice. So, like a desert miss the rain, I dashed into the station and let my car drink like it's free..

Then a car pulled over to the pump next to mine. Without hesitation, I pop my head over and ask.. 'mister ah, how to get to the main road ah..?' He says 'ok, u go this way, reach to the end, turn right, then drive further up, you can see all the cars turn left, follow the cars turn left then you will reach the road and make a U-turn and go up the road..'

This is the first time I listen so attentively from a stranger and make mental note. I repeat the route to him again just in case I misunderstood him. That's how we Einstein learns last time. Anyway we discuss Einstein next time. 

So, I carefully trying to remember the route and alas, I am on the a familiar road leading home.

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Leesen, Lemme Speaking..

These few days ah, all Muniandy, Ah Choy and Ayob also knows the mamak lady kasi taruh itu girl at UUM for voicing her opinion regarding Bersih/PTPTN. I must say, the mamak lady deserved an award for acting like a total asshole. Is there an award for that? Yah, the same one my boss is nominated for also.

Anyways, the mamak lady engrish is quite good. So for the benefits of you all whose engrish is half bucket, let me summarized what she barks ya..

She says,

"Leesen x11, this is limpeh program limped give u speaking. But when limpeh speaking you leesen.

Lemme speaking x7. Limpeh got gip her respect? Limpeh come and shake her hand. Means limped got give her respect you know.

You no same same maraysia with other country. If you same same maraysia with other country, why u still doing in maraysia?

You student more intelligent than me. Limpeh only O-level. You must mingpak what is demonstrasi democracy. You must mingpak what is a babi anaki. You must mingpak what is 3 persons in one place. (shit la, now I go lunch time with my keliks more than 3 persons also i think of her stupid face).

Best part..

Cats got problem. Wanna eat chicken bone, kena kicked.
Dogs got problem. Cannot speak.
Cow, goat got problem. Big dy kena killed.
Fish got problem. We pick fai of them then put inside aquarium.
Bird got problem. We tie their legs then *do a retarded act and say ark ark ark*.
Most problem is shark. We eat shark fins soup."

That's mostly what she said. Most idiotic speech ever, and tak kena mengena at all with the girl's mia comments.

duno the girl in orange tudung got problem onot..
misaiman, very funny meh? Or you dun understand engrish one?

On a serious note, it's quite sad she got applauses from the student on her speech. It's either the students actually dun really understand engrish, or.. ermm.. can't think of any other reasons tim.

Faith in humanity is not restored in UUM.

Looking forward to see what's next for this mamak lady. 


Sunday, January 13, 2013

Twelve of December Twenty Twelve

Like this.

That day my colleague asked me if I have any celebration on 12/12/12.

I told her no. She says she will be celebrating with her family by having a good dinner. I asked her why. She says 12/12/12 comes once in a lifetime.

The next day I asked her again if she is celebrating 13/12/12.

She says no but I told her isn't 13/12/12 also comes once in a lifetime...?

Now you know why I don't have friends.