Thursday, January 17, 2013

Leesen, Lemme Speaking..

These few days ah, all Muniandy, Ah Choy and Ayob also knows the mamak lady kasi taruh itu girl at UUM for voicing her opinion regarding Bersih/PTPTN. I must say, the mamak lady deserved an award for acting like a total asshole. Is there an award for that? Yah, the same one my boss is nominated for also.

Anyways, the mamak lady engrish is quite good. So for the benefits of you all whose engrish is half bucket, let me summarized what she barks ya..

She says,

"Leesen x11, this is limpeh program limped give u speaking. But when limpeh speaking you leesen.

Lemme speaking x7. Limpeh got gip her respect? Limpeh come and shake her hand. Means limped got give her respect you know.

You no same same maraysia with other country. If you same same maraysia with other country, why u still doing in maraysia?

You student more intelligent than me. Limpeh only O-level. You must mingpak what is demonstrasi democracy. You must mingpak what is a babi anaki. You must mingpak what is 3 persons in one place. (shit la, now I go lunch time with my keliks more than 3 persons also i think of her stupid face).

Best part..

Cats got problem. Wanna eat chicken bone, kena kicked.
Dogs got problem. Cannot speak.
Cow, goat got problem. Big dy kena killed.
Fish got problem. We pick fai of them then put inside aquarium.
Bird got problem. We tie their legs then *do a retarded act and say ark ark ark*.
Most problem is shark. We eat shark fins soup."

That's mostly what she said. Most idiotic speech ever, and tak kena mengena at all with the girl's mia comments.

duno the girl in orange tudung got problem onot..
misaiman, very funny meh? Or you dun understand engrish one?

On a serious note, it's quite sad she got applauses from the student on her speech. It's either the students actually dun really understand engrish, or.. ermm.. can't think of any other reasons tim.

Faith in humanity is not restored in UUM.

Looking forward to see what's next for this mamak lady. 


Sunday, January 13, 2013

Twelve of December Twenty Twelve

Like this.

That day my colleague asked me if I have any celebration on 12/12/12.

I told her no. She says she will be celebrating with her family by having a good dinner. I asked her why. She says 12/12/12 comes once in a lifetime.

The next day I asked her again if she is celebrating 13/12/12.

She says no but I told her isn't 13/12/12 also comes once in a lifetime...?

Now you know why I don't have friends.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Hidden Message

Saw this print ads in one of the property development office, reflecting the current project they are in.

Well, are they building a city of lesbianism..?

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Guidelines on Writing a Resolution

I know one. Every time new year sure wanna do something stupid like writing a resolution. This is some simple guidelines how to write one and sure will achieve one.

1) Set a target how many resolution(s) you plan to achieve. Be realistic. Setting too many will always results in failure. The rule of thumb is if you set 20 previous year, but only achieved 12, 80% discount it. That will be the correct number of resolutions you should set.

2) Set something achievable. If you can't play the piano, refrain from setting a resolution as 'Can Play Mary Had A little Lamb by 31 Dec 2013'. Or if you can't swim, avoid stuff like 'Get a set of bikini (trikini if you are gunipok)'. Try to be sensible. If you wanna learn a new musical instrument, starts by a triangle. Do not over-estimate your ability.

do not look down at this complicated instrument. ask mr pythagoras

3) Always double check your spelling/grammar in your resolutions list. This is to avoid any confusion when you look at it few months later. Example, 'This year I will try to eat more, my friends' is different from 'This year I will try to eat more friends'. 

4)  Do a milestone check. Suggested milestone is every 3 months. It's ok to amend the resolution if you think it's impossible to achieve. The important thing is not to force yourself but achieving it comfortably. Example:
January: To plant 4 types of vegetable.
April: To plant 4 2 types of vegetable.
July: To plant 4 2 types of vegetable something.
October: To plant 4 2 types of vegetable Eat something green.

That's it! With these 4 guidelines, I am sure everyone is an achiever!! Thanks me later.

Btw, here's my resolution for 2013!