Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Ultimate CNY Quiz

You know you are an Ahbeng or Ahlian but cannot confirm? Let's confirm this!

Chinese New Year kaming hor.. Chai Shern Dao liao.. Let do this simple test about your preparation for the new year to confirm you are an Ahbeng or Ahlian or not, k?

1) When you see 988 or MyFM CNY CD/DVD is out for sale:
a) You terus buy a copy (add 2 points)
b) Then go home and make copies (add 3 points)
c) Distribute to your friends for free (add 4 points)
d) Make copies and sell (add 10 points)

2) You dye your hair:
a) To a lighter shade (add 2 points)
b) Blonde color (add 3 points)
c) Red color (add 4 points)
d) With the word 'OX' in different color (add 10 points)

3) You buy new clothes for CNY:
a) Just 1 set for 1st day of CNY (add 2 points)
b) 2 sets for the first 2 days of CNY (add 3 points)
c) 15 sets sampai Chap Goh Mei (add 4 points)
d) All traditional Wong Fei Hoong style (add 10 points)

4) You send out SMS greetings:
a) To those who sent to you (add 1 point)
b) To all the close friends (add 2 points)
c) To everyone on your address book (add 3 points)
d) To strangers by random phone numbers (add 10 points)

5) All the 4-words CNY greetings:
a) You know by heart (add 2 point)
b) You know the meanings as well (add 3 points)
c) You know when is the good time to say (add 4 points)
d) You have your own new self-created greetings (add 10 points)

6) During reunion dinner:
a) Must have that black hairy fungus (fatt choy) (add 2 points)
b) Must have auspicious name dishes (add 3 points)
c) Force change the dish name ie Steamed Fish = Prosperity Steamed Happiness Fish (add 4 points)
d) In all the dishes inclusive plain rice ie Silver Richness Overflow Rice (add 10 points)

7) On CNY eve night, you:
a) Watch TV while eat kuaci with family (add 1 point)
b) Jeep Choy Sun (add 5 points)
c) Jeep Choy Sun with a Taoist Sifu (add 20 points)
d) Play lantern (add 30 points)

8) First Day of CNY (1):
a) Cannot sweep floor (add 2 points)
b) Although you forgot to sweep 1 week before CNY (add 3 points)
c) Although you spilt a bucket of sand on the way out to the garden (add 5 points)
d) Although the trash bag ripped on the way out to the dustbin outside (add 10 points)

9) First Day of CNY (2):
a) Cannot wash hair (add 2 points)
b) Although you forgot to wash 1 week before CNY (add 3 points)
c) Although got bird droppings on the way out to the garden (add 5 points)
d) Although there is a cockroach crawling around the hair (add 10 points)

10) You gamble during CNY:
a) Play blackjack with the kids cheating with their angpow money (add 2 points)
b) Continue playing for 15 days (add 5 points)
c) Go Genting and try your new year luck (add 10 points)
d) Continue gambling for 15 days (add 20 points)

11) During CNY (1):
a) You get emotional because another year is gone (add 2 points)
b) You get emotional because it's the time you see all ur family members (add 3 points)
c) You get emotional because the OX Year prediction says ur luck no good (add 5 points)
d) You get emotional because you need to give out angpows (add 10 points)

12) During CNY (2):
a) You are happy because it's new year (add 2 points)
b) You are happy because it's holidays (add 3 points)
c) You are happy because can get angpow (add 5 points)
d) You are happy because can gamble (add 10 points)

The result!

0-20 points: You are not a chinese
21-50: You are normal
51 and above: Just admit that you are Ahbeng and Ahlian..

How crappy..

Adios.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Football Management

I am not sure if anyone noticed this ads on yesterday's newspaper from dunno what college offering cources in Football Management. The ads yelled something like this. 'Executive level can earn as much as RM200k plus annually. Other business/finance executive fresh grads can only earns RM20k annually. Manage the best football clubs in the world.' Something like that.

Wow! Isn't that tempting? If I just finished my SPM, I also wanna study Football Management man! Can earn 10 times more than a normal degree leh. Where to find?

But then hor, think la. What the difference if I say this, 'Finance/Accounting grads can earn as much as RM300k annually leading the BIG 5..'

The common issue is, how many rich football clubs are there in the world? And how many PWC, KPMG are there in the world? The answer is, only a handful. And how many graduates are fighting for these posts worldwide? Millions!

So let say I spent my money in getting a degree in Football Management, what's next? Fight with few millions of graduates worldwide for the post in the few EPL football clubs? Spanish Leagues? Persatuan Bola Sepak Malaysia?

Silap silap end up as 'Pegawai Sukan Kelab Bola Sepak Bawah 18 Tahun Kampung Buaya Utara (Zon 3)'.

And as always, I might be wrong :)

How crappy.

Adios.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

War?

The followings are my personal opinion jek. Dun take it personally k..? You know la, nowadays blog also dangerous. Say something wrong people tot u declaring war liddat.. aii...

Ok, liddis. Not sure everyone knows or not, these days Kenny Sia is getting alot of negative publicity, thanks to his hate blog, KennySai. Before I start, lemme begin with my personal opinions on Kenny Sia.

I used to read Kenny Sia's blog since many years ago when I started my old blog. He is funny and a good writer. Sometimes I laugh at his entries. It's entertaining. But then, when he first joined MDG as a judge, my impression on him went downhill. The reason is, he is too immature to judge a beauty contest. All the 'Wow', "Look at that..', 'You are my favourite'... Come on Kenny, you are there to judge. At least show some professionalism. But if I remember correctly later after the show he acknowledged that and explained that it was the MDG's producer idea to have him being liddat. But damages had been done. He already gave me this hamsup and unprofessional impression.

Anyway, back to the war story. Apparently this Kennysai guy (or girl, I dunno) keep biting Kenny Sia without having any sign of letting go. Kenny Sia posted 1 entry, Kennysai flamed him with 1 million entries. Kenny Sia says 1 sentence, Kennysai can interprete his sentence into a novel. Then we have a shodowfox guy who compiled the whole saga of Kenny Sia cheating behind his gf with an affair with ICQ. This issue balloned until rumors saying ICQ is pregnant with Kenny's baby and he forced her to abortion.

Then we have readers from all over the place adding salt and vinegar to this and voila, new stories are being spread around like wildfire. People like to read exciting stories, although it's not true. For example, you put 2 books on the table. 1 entitled 'Mary and Her Apple: A True Story'. The other one is 'Mary and Her Exchanted Apple'. Which one is more attractive? Which one will you read?

I am not sure if any these accusations are true but come on la.. it's his personal life! Just because ICQ blogged about this by hinting something (err, I didn't read ICQ's blog before actually, but based on what I read in shadowfox), everyone started to give their conclusion as if they are there witnessing the whole thing. What if it really happens? Who are we to judge him? Hello, it's not even in his own blog. It's not even coming out from his own mouth. It's from a 3rd party and everyone started to throw stones at him.

Then Kenny is being accused of plagiarising entries from other bloggers. He says it's coincidence. The world says he plagiarised. The post is about the official World Cup football resembles a sanitary pad. Actually when I first saw the ball, I have the similar thoughts. How come the design looks like a pad? Since I dun live by my blog, it's just a thought. I dun blog every single thing that comes into my mind. There are millions of blogs around. So, by writing a similar post on something that is so popular, is it plagiarising? Maybe he is, maybe he is not. I dunno. But then again, it's his blog what.. We didn't pay a single sen to read his blog.

Yikes, this is getting too long.. Ok, stop now temporarily. Recess time. Will continue again later..

How crappy..

Adios.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Life Lesson # 125

Today, you will learn something that you might not know that you don't know because you thought you already know everything but actually there are still stuff that you don't know that you don't know.

Wow, that's a mouthful. Anyway..

Lemme present to you, Life Lesson #125!

Do not do this.....


...when boarding a plane.

Please remember ok?

This is a community service specially brought to you by Sinkalan.

How crappy..

Adios!

ps: muniandy, sorry for posting your pic. if you happen to see this, go eat capati ok? on me.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Happy Birthday To You!

Not sure if you notice this. Or just me.

Do you have friends celebrating his or her birthday this month? November babies? Anyone? November is somehow a birthday month. Many people celebrate their birthday. So, this month is extra pokai becos need to buy dinner for birthday friends.

Even that day when my office organised the monthly birthday party, November is the most number of collegues birthday. More than 10 of them. Some even share the same birthday. Normal months we have about 4-5 people but November... record breaking.

The only answer to this unusual phenomenon is....

Chinese New Year.

Ha, you see, Chinese New Year normally falls on which month, children?

*FEBRUARY..!*

Correct. And 9 months after February is what month, children?

*NOVEMBER..!*

Correct again!

So, no matter apa bangsa dan agama, CNY everyone happy becos holiday. And when holiday nothing to do, people will do what, children?

*TIU....*

Wait! What is the Engrish word for that?

*HAVE SE...*

Hold it! What is the more sopan word for that?

*MAKE LO....*

Nope.. a more sopan word?

*Ekek...*

Correct!

So, the conclusion is, CNY many people ekek one..

By the way, my papa also celebrating his birthday this month..

Ahyeh and Ahmah.. now we know what you all did during CNY 60 years ago!!

Happy birthday, papa..

How crappy..

Adios!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Yoga Same Category As Charsiu?

Class, today's discussion is on the recent hooha on Yoga. What? Dunno? Liddis u dem out. If dunno what is the issue, go read here, ok?

Anyway, according to some pannai people, yoga is considered not halal becos it relates to Hinduism rituals. And by practising yoga, the pannai people will fear that they could deviate from the teachings of Islam. He also says this can lead to a serious crime according to syariah law (Islamic law) and this can destroy the family institution. Not I say one ok. I quote only.

For once, I agree 100% on this. True mah. How can a muslim performs rituals of anoder faith, kan? Dun care la, u do with a conscience mind or not. Not relevant. Dun care la, u do becos for good health or worshipping other God. Not relevant. Important thing is, you did something which goes againts the undang undang agama.

By the way, while we are at this, I suggest Muslim should be ban from visiting Batu Caves also from now on. Same theory what.. Hindu goes up tht hundreds of steps to reach the temple there. So, Muslim walking that steps also same like yoga, doing something which belongs to the other religion. Betul tak?

Oh, how about travelling on roads that pass thru temples or churches? Those roads are used by other devotees to go to their houses of worships also wo.. Is travelling on those roads can also leads deviation of the Muslim faith?

Another thing. Since talk until so serious, that yoga can 'lead to a serious crime according to syariah law (Islamic law) and this can destroy the family institution', ISA will tangkap or not ah?

How? Anyone can provide me answers?

Confuse la..

How crappy.

Adios.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Win-Win Shituation

Ladies and genitalmens, today I wanna talk about a win-win situation.

It's liddis, that day I came across an ads that offer dunno wht services to expecting couples that they can choose the gender of their future kids. In the ads, there got write there big big 'Money Back Guaranteed'. Ok, before we proceed, let's see what are the possible services that this company can offer sin ok. I dun think there is any products involved. Most likely is the advice on diets la, ek-ek positions la, things to do la, things not to do la, maybe some herbs la.. etc..

So, let's say I wan a baby girl. So I pay RMXXXX. Then tiba tiba come out is a baby boy. How? Yay! I get my money fully refunded. Betul tak? But hor, if u look at company side, it's just like a Big-Small gamble. I collect money from you, then I ask you do this do that. If kena, I keep the money, if tak kena, I give you back your money. So, it's a win-win situation kan?

Can we use the same concept on this blog ah? Liddis, before you read, you deposit RM50 into my account. After you read, and u learnt something new, then I keep the RM50. If you think u wasted your time reading this blog, then I refund back the 50 bucks. T&C applied hor..

T&C: You must do a brain scan at your own expenses that you have learnt nothing new while reading this blog.

You think can or not..?

How crappy..

Adios.